BC Begins 2015's Class Warfare with Master Plan

Chestnut Hill - Boston College administrators have come under fire from activists who argue that the university's policies for incoming freshman represent the boldest escalation in "a history of class warfare of the many against the few."

"What we need from this university is a commitment to protecting the rights of a minority of students against the tyranny of the majority," wrote Richard Peterson, A&S '12, who was joined by the Carroll School of Management and the Saint Thomas More Society in an Observer letter to the editor. Peterson is a leading advocate for the top 1% of all Americans

"We're being asked to sacrifice our liberties so that a few inner-city graduates can take a handout," he added.

Specifically, the university's need-blind admissions policy targets students whose families earn over $250,000 by making them pay their tuition up front as opposed to over a 30 year period for an ultimately higher sum.

"When you add the $20,000 a year my parents pay for a tailgating spot in the Mod lot, which traditional accounting methods ignore, we're really talking about double taxation," Peterson explained.

President Patrick Leahy, SJ, announced a plan to further curtail the freedoms of its least vulnerable demographic by requiring them to wear salmon-colored shorts for identification at all times.

Boat shoes are also part of the administration's mandated wardrobe. 

The Republicans take particular issue with "forced triples" for students unfortunate enough to land on Upper Campus their freshman year.

"It's forced relocation," Peterson said.

The Register obtained a top secret document, the "Master Plan," with disturbing revelations.

After their freshman year on Upper, the well-to-do will be packed like cattle into a D-line train and moved across town to Brighton, what opponents call a "concentration campus." Though they will live together in a suite, they will be singled out to individual bedrooms with private baths, complete with late-night delivery service from Corcoran Commons dining hall.

Resisters organized themselves into the Sons and Daughters of the Revolution, which struggles for a return to what the Founding Fathers dreamed of: a land in which charity takes the place of legislated socialism.

"Look at Stokes Hall -- do you think it would be coming along so smoothly if it wasn't financed by a donation from the Stokes family?" Peterson asked.

Peterson added that he hopes that by turning the corner on the Forbes' ranking that places BC low in racial and socio-economic integration, the university can avoid the Master Plan's dangerous path.

"If you want better integration, have more job-creating, entrepreneurial students," he said.

An affirmative action policy to increase the number of enterprising students would suffice, he proposed.