Sandusky in as BC Head Coach

Sandusky has considerable experience getting recruits despite a bad atmosphere.

Conte Forum -- In a press conference, Boston College Director of Athletics Gene DeFilippo introduced Jerry Sandusky as the new head coach of Eagles Football, ending a month-long search to replace embattled Frank Spaziani.

With the eagles soaring to their worst season in recent memory at 2-7, pressure was building inside the athletic administration to bring in a coach with a proven pedigree to win. Though Sandusky never headed a program on his own, he coached the Penn State Nittany Lions to numerous bowl games and established them as one of the nation's premier franchises.

"Frank [Spanziani] gave us years of loyal service, but it was time for a change," explained DeFilippo. "We want a head coach who's gonna give it to them on the field, give it to them off the field, and basically leave them sore for weeks, and we believe Sandusky is that candidate."

"We're really excited we were able to jump on him when no one was looking," he added.

Sandusky was recently indicted on over 40 counts of sexual assault, corruption of minors, and endangering the welfare of children. Specifically, charges stem to an incident in which he was caught visibly engaging in intercourse with a 10-year-old boy. But analysts say the move makes sense.

"Basically what you have is a chicken coming home to roost. What better place for a pederast rapist than the Catholic Church?" argued Skip Preston, an historian.

A shocked Spaziani reacts to the news of his replacement. 

Spaziani is expected to take a position in the Red Sox organization, the only clubhouse he couldn't possibly make worse.