Mike Joyce Closes Popular Pastry Shop

The lights will go out over Mike's Pastry for the remainder of the campaign.

BOSTON - Monday - As the UGBC election day dawned, Mike Joyce announced a temporary suspension of his renowned baked goods store to devote more time to his campaign.

"My emphasis from the beginning has been a well-rounded individual, but the constant stream of ricotta  has robbed me of the time my constituents are desperately seeking," he said in a prepared statement.

Italian dessert specialist Niccolo Cakiavelli lended an expert's eye to the situation.

"We all love Napoleons, cream puffs, and those little round tarts topped with chopped fruit, but if we don't cut back as Americans we will eat ourselves into oblivion," he said.

One analyst called the move a "mistake" and "likely to backfire" among freshmen, who cling to the famous white cartons with blue script as they make their way home on Saturday afternoons on the B line.

In his tenure as executive pastry chef, Mike Joyce has catered to some of the world's most influential people, including former President Bill Clinton, Bono and the Edge, and United Nations Secretary Ban-Ki Moon.

The move disrupted plans for a possible Top Chef Boston, which was set to air alternatively from Mike's Pastry and one of the seven vaguely Asian cuisine choices inside Quincy Market. Contestants would have to prepare scallops wrapped in bacon and whip up enough servings for a meeting of Appalachia volunteers.

If elected, Joyce pledged to eventually reopen Mike's Pastry in a new location.

"The bottom floor of O'Neill Library is the perfect spot for a franchise branch," he said.