"Look, it's not like we haven't tried before," said Mike Joyce, who confessed off-the-record that sometimes he fumbles around getting a latex on. "It's just that it's impossible to work with the administration on this."
Mike Kitlas agreed. "We want to manage our expectations. Instead of decriminalizing contraceptives in accordance with popular opinion, we'd like to work on attainable goals, such as getting every student a job right after graduation," he said.
Boston College Students for Sexual Health had little public reaction but for a press release, which The Register obtained via early screening.
"No student, male or female, should have to feel pressured into the rigmarole of crossing the street to City Convenience to purchase condoms for later or immediate use," it read.
But student opinion, though once loud and clear, is now muddled over the proposition.
"I didn't vote for condoms because I didn't vote at all," said Patrick McStark, CSOM 13. "It only passed with 89% of the students who voted. This is an injustice on par with Barack Hussein Obama winning even though the majority of the country did not cast a ballot for him."
"I still have four or five [condoms] from the last time BCSSH stood outside McElroy," said Caitlin Prin, LSOE 14, who apparently isn't getting out much.
Bro Tyler Lagdon A&S 12 saw it another way. "Whateva baby, I've had this one condom that I've been using for like six weeks, crazy ribbing too."
Whatever the outcome of the sexual health referendum, it's clear that students will continue to rely, as always, on their own ingenuity. Senior Barry Chang, who lives in a single in Voute, has been helping out a kid or two from time to time.
"This is what I like to call The Anarchist's Kitchen," Chang said, pointing to contraband items such as solo cups, ping pong balls, empty beer cans, and an industrial-sized box of seductive strawberry, banana twister, and coconut climax condoms.
"Have a safe weekend," he added.□
Lovingly ripped off from here.
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